Hunger and Words

Hungry passion and vindictive words, I will never forget

For the raven pecking at my heart won’t go

You uprooted my anchor and sent me adrift to an unforgiving tide

Blazing sun and broken windows shed light to our mistakes

You can’t love if you are blinded by emotion and hands to your throat is enough to do that to you

Something you knew long before my lost mind could figure out

So now I wander, with eyepatches of pink and red through the crumbling streets built of my mistakes

Rage boils below the surface of my placid smile but I refuse to show it

Why punish a world so beautiful for the acts of such a beast

Then again the world is what created you, my monster

And I want no such a part in a world so malicious

I let myself be so engulfed in my hungry passion I can be swallowed and eaten

I turn my vindictive words into a thousand knives to stab me

And I release myself from this hell I’m living

 

 

 

My Muse

My muse, you have are so unaware of the magic you sparked within me

Your words were worth a thousand sunrises and much more than my bitter heart

With such a disturbed mind you were truly one of a kind

But with such potent words you turned me inside out

And now I am just a heart in all vulnerability beating towards a world that peers at me with corrupted curiosity

And my pulchritudinous muse you left me with a smirk and shiny eyes

 

Oh now how I yearn to have you whisper to me about things I don’t fully understand

How I ache to have you pour your thoughts into my heart

So cradle my raw, turned out body and revive me with fallacies which we both twist into realities

For this is my final plea, I know not what else to say

But then again what it comes to you I don’t think I’ll ever know the right words to keep you close enough to my shattered heart

 

The Outside

Flipped mind that only ever saw the opposite

She was trapped outside the box

Labels flew at her but she learned to cope

Covered in others words, she began to carve herself into someone

Refining her edges she realised that she was left a drift, apart from everyone else

Isolation is a curse which some are forever left with, not many find a cure

But she decided to not fall to turn the weight on her shoulders to gold

She ripped herself open and out poured diamonds and crippled reasons why she should be let in

Consumers lapped it up like a cat to its milk

Her ideas were fresh as a new morning but had the spice of a chili to them

Draw out and over analysed they began to lose their meaning

She began to fear this new world, for they seemed to use her brain until it was expunged and then seemed to pry for more

Requesting more ideas then she could churn out she began to panic

For her world outside was not so bad in the end

At least with total freedom came total control

So she retreated, back to the place she had so wanted to escape

But she had learnt her lesson, she was not an infinite recourse that humanity could over-exploit and abuse

She would not fall to the same mistake the earth had made

 

Dreams

Dream land is like a second reality. Sometimes it’s a reality I would much rather be a part of to be honest. Dreams are really quite a special thing I find, I mean they can do quite amazing things to a person. They can invent scenarios, bring back memories of things you had forgotten about or on the more negative spectrum, scare the crap out of you. I have experienced all of those and despite the bad and the ugly, the good is well worth it I think.

So looking at statistics and facts it’s proven that we have about 3-4 dreams a night. Most of us, including me, do not remember all these dreams. I really wish I did though, they are just so fascinating. One of the most interesting parts about dreams is the different scenarios it gives you. Sometimes, in this (what I’ll call) alter-reality we can be a part of things that we could never even imagine of being in the real world. Such as meeting your favourite celebrity or going on a date with your crush. The best part is of course that it all just feels so real. When you wake up you can revel in the intensity of the dream and try and relive how it felt, or build upon the dream. Having the ability to let your mind wander totally free and with no control form you can be pretty fun.  Actual scenarios aside just looking at what your mind can come up with when given the time to wander free can be pretty incredible. It makes you wonder a lot about yourself and what is lurking in your mind that you may not always give a lot of attention to. I know it certainly never fails to astound me.

Another great thing about dreaming is that it can serve as a memory jog. Sometimes I find myself waking up to a dream about an event that happened a good few years ago which was even filled with details that I don’t think I would have remembered in my waking state if you had tried to ask me about the event. That is pretty special I think. We can just out of the blue, randomly think of things that haven’t crossed our minds for years just thanks to shutting our eyes and setting our minds free. Who knows though, maybe this isn’t all so random? I wonder if there are any conspiracy theories out there about dreams. I’ll bet there are, a good few of them involving the government stealing information from our brains to better control them. Well that was totally off topic so anyway. Dreams can really shock you or set the mood for your day as well. If you dream of something you forgot that’s pretty shocking and can kind of jolt you and well if you have a sad dream that seems all too real then your day might take a bit of a sad start as it’s what will probably be on your mind. on the positive side though the same can be said about happy dreams. They can do so much for our memories and for our minds, it’s pretty amazing.

Finally the bad and the ugly. Though dreams are wonderful and special things, they are not always pleasant. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing though, it’s all a matter of perspective. Most people who remember their dreams have experienced a few nightmares in their lives I’m sure. Nightmares are pretty flipping scary since who knows your mind better than you? No one, meaning that no one knows how to scare yourself better than you do. The way I like to think of it, this power gives our mind the ability to scare us when it thinks we need it. If we are getting too ignorant or being too persistent with certain thoughts it might try and throw in something which it knows will really jar us to try and break our thoughts. This is my theory at least and I think that it can be good. It gives us usually unrealistic scenarios which can help insure that we know what the worst case is so we can tell ourselves in other situations that we haven’t quite hit the worst yet. Having that reassurance can be good I think, though it be very unpleasant in the moment or right after you wake up from it.

In essence dreams are something which I find truly fascinating. I was just thinking about this earlier and thought it would be nice to share a few thoughts on them with you guys. I was also wondering what you think of them? What are the best parts about them?

Have a nice day!

-xoxo Sophie

Love On The Beach

Sparkling lights, feelings on fire

You hold me in your arms where I stay tangled in your compliments and sweet kisses

Glistening ocean, my heart beat lost out in the waves

You rest your heard on my shoulder and whisper in my ear, sending shivers down my spine

Soft sand made of thoughts pushed from my mind

You ask me why I shiver

“Because my love, no one has ever set me on fire and known the way to bask in me without getting burned

And that scares me” I say

“Well sweetheart, it’s a good thing it doesn’t scare me then”

and you you lean down and prove this to me through kisses so passionate they feel wrong

Even though we both know deep down that it is so, so right

 

The Tale of a Discarded

I sit with my fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to pour my soul out into the vast web

I will start my poem the way true connection start, with the heart

I will write the heart wrenching tale of a lost girl in a sea of thoughts so deep she drowned

So from her oxygen less lungs to her stopped heart and up out of her closed mouth this story will pour

She was the girl full of questions no one knew even existed

She was the girl who threw herself though she knew better a true believer in love, yet from believer she went to victim

She turned her pain to power over herself, if anyone should hurt her who more fitting than herself

Scars up and down her arms were there as proof and a taped together heart were her reason for her need of control

Surrounded by consumerism and the external she fell deeply into her internal

For no one would understand her the way she could understand herself, something which lingered in the way of any really connection she tried for

That is not to say that many did not try, for there are some who are quite drawn to the broken

Perhaps if she let herself open to the worthy should could have seen past their corruption

Alas in this story here she was the one enthralled in the curious eyes of the hungry vultures disguised as men

But our poor lass lost herself to quite a few of them, youth lead her astray to an array of mistakes

Raw and exposed she shed her skin for the men who took her in like smoke from a cigarette

They used and they discarded for once they saw her damaged heart they were satisfied and with satisfaction comes release

Having bled all the crippled reasons why she should not trust she withdrew to the cold keys of a laptop

But at least a laptop will warm to the touch, vultures will only destroy for their own benefit

And it is here I will end her short story

With a cliche line of self loss and pain that however many times used will not lose its meaning

And that, that is the same for us all

 

no matter how many times we may fall into the wrong of being used, we will never lose our meaning

Not me, not you and not her

If only she knew

 

 

Thoughts

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Beautiful mind, drawn out of line

Thoughts dancing on a cloud, a brain that was so proud

Yet it is all now lost astray, a life left to decay

Hours in thought lead to a smile drawn taught

For she lost her thoughts meaning when doing her Spring cleaning

Her mind washed clean, a blank screen

Expunged and used, her intuition left abused

The cause of which she is not sure, a mind ruined which used to be so pure

A pitchfork and a knife to her creativity, a mind caught in captivity

It will remain in his claws until she can find away to pry herself from his jaws

For once you have the spark you will always be able to find your way back to your mark

No one can take from her what will always be to the internal and try to turn it to the external

A mind which was lead astray, but will make its way out of this fray

Her story will only be told with time but you, you do not have to fall victim to this crime

Your thoughts are gold which you have no obligation to let slip from your lips and be told

They are forever your own, so you will never be alone